March 2008 Archives

Fact: Measuring approximately 13.25" across, the entire collection of Cerebus phonebooks will fit perfectly within one of the shelf spaces in an IKEA Expedit bookcase.

Coincidence? Or a sinister Swedish-Canadian conspiracy to foist Abrahamic monotheism and misogynist philosophy upon consumers of inexpensive minimalist home furnishings?

I'm sure this is a debate that has occurred ad nauseum elsewhere on the comics blogosphere, but I'm too lazy right now to do anything other than cursory research on the subject. Rather, I'll simply state that DC Comics ought to do away with their alternate-universe US cities and instead transpose the settings for their characters and stories to real-world US cities. How, you ask, would such a reorganization shake out? Here are my suggestions for some of DC's more notable heroes.

Batman: Gotham City --> New York City
Nightwing: Bludhaven --> Newark
Superman: Metropolis --> Chicago
Flash: Keystone City --> Pittsburgh
Flash II: Central City --> St. Louis
Green Lantern: Coast City --> Los Angeles
Green Arrow: Star City --> Seattle

Wonder Woman and Aquaman should still be based in the fictional lands of Themyscira and Atlantis, respectively. But if they want to have someplace to hang their hats when they're hanging out in the States, I'll suggest San Francisco for Wonder Woman and Miami for Aquaman.